Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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