I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
