Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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