I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize