was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
