we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
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She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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