I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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