did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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