you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize