did you get engaged???
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
