Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize