he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
