dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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