She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
