is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
