did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize