If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
