I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
