i permit you to call me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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