I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
