I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My day in three words: secret purse cake
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
