i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my sisters under your porch take her home
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
do nipples grow back?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
