i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
