OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
