If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
