and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
