It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize