Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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