im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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