Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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