i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
