just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
