i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
