I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
