you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
