I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
