It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just blew my weed a kiss
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
