Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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