I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
