Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
