The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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