Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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