A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize