Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
