Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
