She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
