I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
