So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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