it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
