She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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