She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My breasts were aching with rage.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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