i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
what day is it and did you see me today?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
