I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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