I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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