hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
why is half of my head shaved?
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