For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
