Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
