How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
