whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
