After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
