All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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