I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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