I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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