She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
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As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
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Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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