Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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