we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I could fuck to npr.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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