you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
