I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
