he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
