and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize